It begins...sort of
Many years and incarnations have passed. Rather than bore you with tedious history, we're going to post a relatively recent snippet written about the band in SPINe Magazine by legendary gonzo beatnik objectivist unbearable reporter, Rollo Whitehead:
"em dash's hectic library schedule inevitably found them in an orgy of books, fees and rock and roll. Babak had started to read with a cadre of banned librarians and soon was strung out with a book addiction...twice he tried to commit suicide by shoving copies of Proust's Remembrance of Thing's Past down his throat, but was unable to swallow its premise.
Jeff also had his problems. for he was living a double-life...by day he taught classes, by night he was partying at open poetry jams, surrounded by the seediest readers in town, immersing himself in a world of mispronounced words, illegally imported absinthe-java, and poor imitiations of sylvia plath. in the early morning of april 9th, after police raided an illegal after-hours writer's workshop, jeff was found carrying 5 ounces of poetry...enough to get him charged with possession. if not for the intervention of university legal services, em dash's bass player might have been reading poetry at sing-sing.
JB, seeking to go his own way, cut Jeff's hair, sold all of Babak's possessions, and became a disciple of Jacques Derrida...first leaving the band for 3 months in June of 2006 in order to find and deconstruct himself, then spending the rest of the year getting an MBA in an accelerated course at Indian Pyrotechnic University in Ulan Bator. When he returned, his songs began to reflect his new philosophy of deconstructonomics...with songs like, "Baby, Your Mutual Fund is a Vastly Reducible MythoPoetic Inversion of its own Signifier." and the haunting ballad, "There is no 'I' in IRA."
Alfred remained in the Rare Books collection long after their concert ended, living in the stacks, and starting a sex cult of librarian groupies, filming literary porn with reconstructions of great literary masterpieces done on a low budget and filled with outrageous sex scenes. Getting bored of 19th century british lit, he started his own novellas which he then filmed as porn epics. He was to sweep the adult film awards with his now-legendary trilogy, "Talk Dewey To Me", "Bonan the Librarian" and "Playing with My Shelf."
The band reunited in 2004 to play at a local nursing home. The success of which prompted a whirlwind tour of preschools, departments of motor vehicles, laundromats, clerk's offices, bus depots, and nail salons...culminating in their final performance in the remainder section at the pittsford barnes and noble. babak, who had spent 6 months in book rehab, had the shakes and was found in the bathroom trying score some books on tape. jeff's hands were shakey, as he was jonesing for a poetry fix. jb ended the show by dry humping "Of Grammatology" while sabotaging Alfred's already abysmal tax returns. After the show, they once more split up...to deal with the various monkey's on their backs. This reporter hopes that some day, we may see them back and literarier than ever!" --Rollo Whitehead, SPINe Magazine Dec. 2004
"em dash's hectic library schedule inevitably found them in an orgy of books, fees and rock and roll. Babak had started to read with a cadre of banned librarians and soon was strung out with a book addiction...twice he tried to commit suicide by shoving copies of Proust's Remembrance of Thing's Past down his throat, but was unable to swallow its premise.
Jeff also had his problems. for he was living a double-life...by day he taught classes, by night he was partying at open poetry jams, surrounded by the seediest readers in town, immersing himself in a world of mispronounced words, illegally imported absinthe-java, and poor imitiations of sylvia plath. in the early morning of april 9th, after police raided an illegal after-hours writer's workshop, jeff was found carrying 5 ounces of poetry...enough to get him charged with possession. if not for the intervention of university legal services, em dash's bass player might have been reading poetry at sing-sing.
JB, seeking to go his own way, cut Jeff's hair, sold all of Babak's possessions, and became a disciple of Jacques Derrida...first leaving the band for 3 months in June of 2006 in order to find and deconstruct himself, then spending the rest of the year getting an MBA in an accelerated course at Indian Pyrotechnic University in Ulan Bator. When he returned, his songs began to reflect his new philosophy of deconstructonomics...with songs like, "Baby, Your Mutual Fund is a Vastly Reducible MythoPoetic Inversion of its own Signifier." and the haunting ballad, "There is no 'I' in IRA."
Alfred remained in the Rare Books collection long after their concert ended, living in the stacks, and starting a sex cult of librarian groupies, filming literary porn with reconstructions of great literary masterpieces done on a low budget and filled with outrageous sex scenes. Getting bored of 19th century british lit, he started his own novellas which he then filmed as porn epics. He was to sweep the adult film awards with his now-legendary trilogy, "Talk Dewey To Me", "Bonan the Librarian" and "Playing with My Shelf."
The band reunited in 2004 to play at a local nursing home. The success of which prompted a whirlwind tour of preschools, departments of motor vehicles, laundromats, clerk's offices, bus depots, and nail salons...culminating in their final performance in the remainder section at the pittsford barnes and noble. babak, who had spent 6 months in book rehab, had the shakes and was found in the bathroom trying score some books on tape. jeff's hands were shakey, as he was jonesing for a poetry fix. jb ended the show by dry humping "Of Grammatology" while sabotaging Alfred's already abysmal tax returns. After the show, they once more split up...to deal with the various monkey's on their backs. This reporter hopes that some day, we may see them back and literarier than ever!" --Rollo Whitehead, SPINe Magazine Dec. 2004
posted by em dash at 8:34 AM
4 Comments:
i take it that a texas book depository gig is currently out of the question. get some therapy, geez. :)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hey, I am Rollo Whitehead, known to legions of anonymous writers as the Bakunin of Dewey Decimal Systems, and you have misquoted me. I will sue.
Ha. Do you know how many Faux-lo Whiteheads have come out of the woodwork like pretenders to the empthy throne? But just like the Ray's Pizza on Prince Street off the Bowery, I am the actual Original.
If you want proof, oh Dewey Decmimalizer, check out this secred code: PS3569.H39.I4
and for the record, Borges was a WAY groovier librarian than Bakunin.
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